The most fun I’ve ever had…

I am lucky, I make o.k. money that lets me go on vacations, live in a great house and have fun spending money on clothing, good food and gadgets. All of that is fun but the real fun for me is when I feel alive. What do I mean by ‘feeling alive’. I feel alive when my senses are awake, my emotions are free to feel everything, when I can feel sad and cry when something horrible happens to someone and when I can feel happy and excited when something really great happens as well. The more years we are around, the more we think we have figured life out. We have our set routines. We know what we’ll eat for breakfast, what style of furniture we like, what style of clothing we will wear, what the people are we like and who we don’t like, what religion we belong to and so on. The more we think we have figured life out the less we re-invent ourselves. But unfortunately, at the same time our range of the emotions we can feel goes down, our spontaneity goes down and our willingness to explore decreases. When most of us were in our teens we were excited to explore who we were are going to be. We wanted to learn, make money, find great friends and life partners to build our lives with. The sad thing is that most people will not change up their routines any longer when they are in their 50th and 60th and 70th.

The real luck I have is not that I make o.k. money but that I found people who are explorers no matter how many years they are around. I just attended the People Unlimited New Years Launch Event in Scottsdale and I was lucky to be with Bernadeane who I saw completely change her routine around once again. And Bernie is not in her teens, or 20th or 30th. I know Bernie now for about 25 years and I’ve seen her change her routine around over and over again. Usually when I see Bernie change is when she feels that what she has been doing is no longer building her body or the people around her. Bernie changes things most people wouldn’t change like life style, food, opinions, believes, the way of interacting with close friends and family. Each time I see her change these things, I see Bernie be more alive. I see her more charismatic, more vibrant, more smiling and laughing, more excited about her day, more excited about her future. My mom is only 10 more years around than Bernie and I care for her a lot but I have not seen my mom excited about her future for a very long time.

The most fun I have is when I get up in the morning and don’t live the perfect routine but have the intend to do whatever will most build my body and the body of everyone around me that day. What can I say, what can I do, how can I interact with my co-workers and clients so that their life is easier that day? How can I make the people around me feel valuable, wanted, smart and just overall great? How many people can I make feel that way?

It’s so much fun to live my day that way because I have to re-invent myself all the time and there is no set routine. It has no right and wrongs and the dreadful feelings of being impatient and frustrated with others don’t exist. My day is not planned around a long and important ‘to do’ list but around the intend to do what will make my life better and what can make the lives of the people around me better. This requires all my senses to be aware. Great routines always come with the threat of failure. Failure because I might not be able to do everything I said I would. Living around the intend to making my own life and the lives of others better, easier and more fun knows no failures. In the end those failures of missing a goal or not completing something you had committed to are fun killers. They can make you feel small and insufficient and unimportant because once again you have broken your word. Making another person smile and have a moment of laughter or making a certain task easy for others or just giving someone that feeling of how important they are to you has instant gratification. In those moments failure does not exist and the feeling small and insignificant which is so common is extinguished. There are no limits of how easy life can be and how happy we can be and how important we are to each other.

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I need ‘time-out’!!

Otto and I are going on a ‘time-out’ trip. I call it ‘time-out’ trip because everything we will be doing will be different from what we normally do. We will be staying on the Osa peninsula in Costa Rica. The Osa Peninsula is well known for it’s remote location. The Eco Lodge we chose to stay for the week is a 30 minute drive from the next town. You have to drive on a dirt road crossing creeks and I am glad we are going to be picked up since I don’t know if I could find my way. It’s in the middle of primary rain forest filled with an incredible amount of wild life. It has power and warm showers but it doesn’t have cell connection nor WIFI nor TVs or hair dryers – it only has nature.

I love my cell phone and my computer and the ability to stay connected with others all the time. But for the next week I am looking forward to being technology-wise disconnected.

I am looking forward to feeling my cellular connection with others. I feel I need a technology break just so that I can feel myself and others again simply through my cells.

Most of the people who go to these Eco Lodges fill their days with zip lining tours, waterfall hikes, surfing, wild life watching, snorkeling, horse back riding on the beach and lots more. I will do some of it as well but my main purpose is to get a deeper feeling for myself and what I mean with ‘myself’ is the cells of my body. I want to feel my heart beat, my breaths expand my lungs and then contract them again by exhaling. I want to feel my blood go through my arteries and veins, my intestines digest, my muscles enjoy movement and then be still and relax again. I want to feel my skin enjoy the rain and the sun.

More than zip lining, hiking and surfing I want to go on the adventure trip of my organs.

Sometimes – not enough – I take time to thank my heart for beating. Each time I do it, I feel the immediate benefit. It makes me pretty much instantly feel invigorated. I am looking forward to my vacation not because I get to do a lot of glamorous things, but because I get to have time to thank my body. I am looking forward to being invigorated by not only feeling my heart beat but by thanking all my organs for the work they do non-stop.

I feel every person should step away from everything once in a while just to thank themselves for what they do every single day. We are so invaluable and so very irreplaceable and we move small and big mountains all the time. We should never take ourselves for granted. The more we feel how valuable we are ourselves, the more we can feel how valuable are the people around us. I am looking forward to being with Otto on my adventure trip. I value him so much and he means so much to me in my every day life.

I am so looking forward to my vacation!!

I am not made for being alone…

I was never made for being alone, yet I was taught from early on I should make it alone. I had a lot of friends who’s life dream was to have enough money to retreat to an island or the mountains.

I never wanted to be on an island no matter how beautiful it looked or on a mountain far away from civilization. I always felt like being alone was punishment. I could never see anything good in it. Yet, for the first part of my life it was hard for me to connect to others. I always felt there were conditions associated with these connections. Conditions and rules. And these conditions and rules could change at any time without any notice. And I believed I had to get them right or at least be in the ball park of right to be able to connect to people. I found myself using most of my brain power figuring out how to be. I observed others who seemed to be cool trying to be like them so I could be cool and attractive as well. I found myself in conversations attempting to simulate what the other person wanted to hear so I could be that way and be interesting to them. It was very hard work.

All of these strategies were really pathetic. Lucky me I was really bad at them and they never got me anywhere.

Feeling that I don’t have to die has kind of cured me from all the trying to be like others.

Not having to die comes with a complete set of new ways of living. There are not many people who feel it so all the trying to be like others falls to the wayside.

And then it’s pretty much impossible to be really alive – I mean so alive that you never have to die – without simply being yourself. If you don’t want to be the unique person you are, you are pretty much a lost cause for physical immortality.

I remember the first time when I had the physical feeling that I didn’t have to die. It lasted only for a little bit before I went back to my normal try to be like everyone else mode. That moment was magical. It came out of the blue just from within myself. I had been involved with People Unlimited and a whole community of people that didn’t feel they had to die for several years then. During those years I had completely fallen in love with these people and it was easy for me to ‘think’ that it was possible to live without an end.

Yet what I hadn’t done at that time was experiencing ‘not dying’ in my own person. Yes, not dying is an ‘experience’. When I first experienced it, it came as a surprise. I was living in Germany then and it was an evening like any other evening. Nothing was out of the ordinary. This was until I had a sensation that I had never had before. I felt a physical vibration and tingling all over me. It felt like my cells caught onto fire and all of a sudden came alive. And this aliveness was not just within me, it was a physical connection with a very selected small number of people. People who are still in my life now. Now 18 years later, I feel an even stronger connection to them. These people are Otto – my intimate life partner for nearly 20 years – Bernie, Jim and Chuck. Bernie, Jim and Chuck are the first three people who had told me that they weren’t going to die. They were very open and had no intimidation around living without an end physically. And even though I didn’t really know them personally then, that evening I could feel them.

Now 18 years later, I no longer live in Germany, I live in Cave Creek, Arizona. Otto, Bernie and Jim are in my daily living now and I am even more connected to them. I now have many more people I feel this connection to. I now have this incredible physical sensation of physical immortality pretty much every day.

The interesting thing is that in all of this connected feeling I all forgot about having to figure out how to be. I just am. I turned out to be very unique. I have hobbies none of my friends have. I eat like no-one else around me eats and my eating habits are getting weirder and weirder all the time. It’s fun to be so different and it’s natural. It’s a relief that I no longer try to connect with people by trying to be like them.

A complete new approach to an ideal job…

I need a new job for a long time now or I need something completely different in the one I have. I love my job but there are a lot of areas I feel stuck in. I feel I have to bend who I am in many situations and wiggle myself through the day-to-day politics of my company. The thinking about how to do my job without stepping on someone else’s feet or hurting their feelings is taking up more time than actually doing the work for my clients. I love being all out everywhere and this includes my work. I love being intense at work and I love when my intensity brings me to new places and makes me grow personally and financially. I love making money and I love making lots of it. I love getting better and larger in what I do. I love having happier clients who buy more from our company and making the company more money and making me more money. I feel depressed and anxious and stuck when I don’t have this growth. I’ve been asked to step back from several areas at my current job and I’ve seen things go in the wrong direction because of it and it’s been frustrating.

All of this translates into anxiety. I started to feel stressed and overwhelmed in situations that I am usually relaxed in. I started to have anxiety attacks when boarding the airplane to go see my clients. I am usually always nervous when flying but the anxiety now was getting out of hand. My thoughts are racing, I am afraid I forget something essential like my wallet over and over again.

When going into the office in the morning I usually start out happy because I am having such a wonderful life and then I get closer to the office and I start having the racing thoughts and worries about things I have absolutely no control over. When driving home from work I am having a hard time breathing. It’s like all my muscles are tense and I have to force the air into my lungs instead of it just flowing freely.

I know something is wrong and something needs to change…

I started to look around and to review job posting. The more job postings I reviewed the more I knew I was looking for the right people environment rather than a perfect list of items I would be responsible for. I was looking for a people environment where I was boosted and cheered on in what I do best instead of being asked to step back.

When looking at these job postings it seemed impossible to find.

I am looking for my ideal job and the things I want in this ideal job are things I have never seen on anyone’s job wish list before. I feel my ideal job needs to build my body instead of tearing me down. The most important in my ideal Job is that it boosts me to physically thrive. It needs to be a job that doesn’t burn me out and doesn’t give me pains in my body. Pains such as back pain, sleeplessness, inflamed wrists from too much typing, Exhausted eyes from staring at my computer screen for hours and hours in the day without taking breaks.

It felt good to think about what I really wanted.

So what made it on my wish list for my dream job?

– A job where my blood flows freely through my arteries without any restrictions making sure all my cells get all the nutrients they need to be all out in the work I do.
– A job where I feel no restriction in my lungs. Where I naturally inhale air deeply and can exhale to let it all out again without feeling any tension to ensure my cells get all the oxygen they need so I can be sharp, clear and efficient and so that I can make the right decision quickly when required.
– A job that pays me well so that I can replenish.
– A job that’s stimulating so that I can grow new neuro-pathways and let go of others no longer needed.
– A job where my muscles can get tense when they have to do the work and then relax again when moving on to something different.
– A job where my nervous system is healthy and knows when to be on and when to relax as well. Where my neurons know when to pass on information in my brain and when to block it so that I can be most efficient.
– A job where I am wide awake in the morning ready to be active and move mountains after a good night’s sleep.
– A job where I build financial health so I can easily spend money on building myself.
– A job where I make more and more money that I can spend on building a world where people thrive and have no end instead of being burned out and deteriorate.
– A job where I can make more and more money so that I can invest more and more in People Unlimited and Bernie and Jim who are leaders in building a world without death. They build a world where a job like the one I am looking for is possible and I need to pay them well for it.

Women love shopping for shoes but do we do it for the right reasons?

Women love shopping for clothing and shoes and so do I but do we do it for the reasons? Sometimes I shop because I feel great and part of feeling great is that I look good and of course I am happy to spend money on myself for clothing and shoes that expresses how great I am. I would be denying myself if I wouldn’t. 

But when I am honest to myself do I always go shopping for that reason? Sometimes it’s just the opposite and I go shopping because I feel not so great and I have the urge to fill myself up with shopping. The thought of just the right shoes and especially if they are on sale seems to be the one thing that can lift my spirits. In those moments I don’t buy the shoes because I feel great but because I need to be filled up and shoes or clothing just seem to do the job. And often times I have no reason what so ever for feeling empty or awful. My life is going great. I have created the best for myself in every area, so there is definitely no need for feeing negative to begin with. By the way when I buy the shoes to make me feel great it usually works and I will feel better but I still find it wrong to feel empty. Feeling awful about myself for whatever reason is just wrong and I find it wrong for most people I know.

There are some really awful people around but I am not talking about them. In the end, usually only the good people feel awful and negative about themselves and the people who do the bad things, usually have no conscience and will feel never bad. But then even the ‘bad’ people might feel so highly nothing about themselves that they have to take it out on others by being mean and terrible. If they would feel better and more valuable they might stop being so mean. But this is a different subject…

I now realize that we get taught that we are nothing… my mom has nothing to say about how great she is, my sister is in complete silence about how important she is. In fact I doubt she it ever crossed their mind that saying good things about themselves is an option. My grandma was negative all the time and she had no positive word come out of her mouth ever. And all my aunts struggled with depression. None of them felt awful like ‘I am a terrible person’ awful but they felt awful like ‘I always have to accomplish something to be valuable’ or ‘I am just not measuring up’ awful or ‘I am not valuable for simply who I am’ awful. Language such as ‘I am great’, ‘I am a wonderful person’, ‘I am proud of myself’, ‘I am important to be around’ or any other such language is pretty much non-existent in their vocabulary.

And it’s pretty much non-existing for most woman I know. In fact, I only know one woman who can say freely that she is important. What I hear a lot from woman pretty much everywhere is ‘You are important’. Especially if a woman has children I can hear it non-stop. I can hear non-stop how important her children are. Shouldn’t the mothers say great things about themselves too? If you say more great things about your children or other people in general than about yourself I find you hypercritical. And – by the way – you will teach your children that they are not valuable either and that they will only live for others when they grow up. I don’t think that is a great upbringing after all.

So who is going to break the cycle? I know one person who has broken it already. And this person is Bernadeane. I am so thankful for you – Bernie!! Hallelujah, one woman who finally says the truth about herself. I have heard Bernie say many times ‘I am valuable’, ‘I am important’. And it’s not only her words it’s also her body language. It’s how Bernie looks, how well she dresses and how she talks to others. Bernie is a woman who looks gorgeous not just to impress men and to hold up well in the unending female competition of ‘good looking’. She looks good just because she feel she is so valuable and looking good is just the right way to express it. How refreshing!!! Not sure if with all the “I don’t feel valuable’ women or ‘I only feel valuable for the great things I do’ role models I’ve had in my life, I would have been able to even have the thought that I can feel good for who I am. Only after hanging out with Bernadeane for the past 20 years I am getting a glimpse of how it feels to be valuable for the person I am.

It feels sooo, sooo good. And this is the direction I am taking now. Why not let my life be guided by the valuable person I am instead of the person who has to please others all the time. I personally find people who feel their own value extremely pleasing. So I am going to be more and more pleasing that way now too.

Join people who promote the value of human life in the best way ever and come to a People Unlimited event here in Scottsdale or to our Summer Celebration event in San Diego! It’s the best and most transforming experience you will ever have. A transformation that we all need. A transformation to being valuable. Check us out at PeopleUnlimitedInc.com

I feel down today…

Today is a day I feel I am running against obstacles everywhere. Mostly people obstacles. People I am working with seem so far away and it’s hard to communicate with them. I love my job but today is a day where I feel everyone is working in their own silo and there is just no flow. We are working on preparing several important client meetings next week and we could do so much better if we would listen to each other and if we would flow with each other. Without a flow I get tense and anxious. I am not the only one who feels down in my company. Lots of the people I admire and respect for the great work they do and for the great team player they are have resigned or are telling me they are going to resign in the next couple of months. Not exactly sure when but it’s sure that they do not want to hang around. So I am down today. It’s depressing.

I like it much better when people build each other. I find that there are very few people who have the true talent to build another person. There are people who give you the feeling that you can move a mountain and that you are tremendously valuable and essential to them. And then there are people who can only see themselves. These people see you as competitor and they feel threatened by you and you can do nothing right for them.

The people I like best are the people who genuinely want me to thrive. I genuinely want people to thrive. I don’t feel I am better or worse than others. I just feel we are doing different things complementing each other to get great things accomplished together. I know I can only do a piece of the puzzle and that I need others in order to be successful at what I do. I am an account manager and I am successful when my clients are extremely happy, so happy that they simply do not even want to look at the competition. So happy that they only want to work with me and the company I represent. I love being successful and I love being paid well for it.

But since I am representing the company and everyone else in it, I can only be as good as we all are together. It’s frustrating to see how people fight each other more than wanting to do the right thing for the client. Sometimes it makes it hard for me to breath.

Having Bernie and Jim in my life makes me privileged because I know how it feels to be cared for. I mean really cared for. Bernie and Jim genuinely care for me all the time for over 20 years now. They care personally for me. No matter if they have 2000 people around them or just 30, they always make me feel important. I’ve seen Bernie and Jim go through the most difficult times in their lives and they cared for me. I’ve seen Bernie and Jim experience the greatest success and they care about me. I am with them now for over 20 years and they have never withdrawn or stopped communicating with me or stopped caring for me. Not even for a minute.

My parents sometimes stopped talking to each other for several days because they didn’t get along and it was an ice cold feeling at home. Everyone was depressed until they made up and spoke again. In the past Otto and I used to not find the right words to express our feelings to each other There were times when we spoke only the superficial things and not what really mattered to us. With Bernie and Jim I’ve never experienced this. They have always kept all communication open. I feel so cared for by them. I feel more cared for by them than any other person in my life. And I care for them too. When I am really honest with myself I care for them the same way they do for me, without any breaks. I care for them when I have great things happen to me and when things are not so great and I feel down like today. It just feels great to live an honest life where nothing separates me from others. And its a 2-way situation. It only works when everyone does their part. Otto and I are communicating now without any breaks everything to each other. There are more and more people who I feel close to on a daily basis and this makes me feel so rich. I am thankful to be alive and will never die. I am proud of who I am and of the life I am creating for myself and others around me.

Find out more about myself, Otto and Bernie and Jim and join us for one of our People Unlimited events in Scottsdale AZ or come to our summer celebration event in San Diego. It’s really not about attending an event but about meeting people who genuinely care and who want you to be with them for always. Www.peopleunlimitedinc.com

The pro’s and con’s of being in your 50s

I am 3 years into my 50th now and it has been an adventure. In my 40th I thought my life was on a great track and that I was set-up well for all the years to come. But then the 50th hit and it all changed. I had heard about midlife crisis and never understood why people experienced it. This is the kind of ignorance I had all the way up to my 50th. For example I couldn’t see why people in their 50th all of a sudden don’t wear bikinis any longer or they completely discard of tank tops and short sleeve t-shirts to only wear long sleeve clothing. My aunt was the first person I met who, when she hit her 50’s, insistent that her arms did no longer have the look that they deserved to be displayed in public. I couldn’t imagine what could be so ugly about the arms that they no longer deserved to be seen but I could never find out because I couldn’t see them any longer. Pretty much up to my 50th I had absolutely no sense for what it means when your body starts changing and you feel like you have no control over it.

Everything changes so quickly and so irreversibly that it can scare the hell out of you. All the feelings of being set-up well in my 40th went right out of the window when I started to gain weight and even when I lowered my daily calories I kept gaining it. When my doctor started to look at my annual check-up for the signs of loss in bone density, cancer and high cholesterol and blood pressure and anything that was only off a little bit was now a sign of a fatal disease. High blood pressure was now the sign for a future stroke, an extra dense area in my breast on my mammogram was the sign of breast cancer and I would play with my life if I wouldn’t get a biopsy. His communication to me was clear ‘You are now in your 50th and your final days are numbered and high cholesterol, high blood pressure, cancer will be part of it.’ Now I understand, just going to the doctor can be enough reason to be in a mid-life crisis in your 50th. The outlook they have for you is depressing.

So here is the good news about being in my 50th: I get to stand out from the crowd. I’ve been around long enough to kind of know what is bullshit and what is real and I can make my own choices. I no longer have to follow along with the simple way of life and what society has laid out for me.

When my doctor told me I needed to have a biopsy for a 2 mm high density area in my breast, I did a lot of research and didn’t just go with it. I felt it was a too aggressive approach getting my breast cut open and having a piece of metal put in to mark a spot that they just couldn’t evaluate in the mammogram and ultra sound because it was too dense. I decided to wait for 6 months, get another ultra sound and if something really dangerous like cancer was going on in that area I would see it immediately. I personally don’t feel it but it’s always good to know for sure. I started to do some research around hormones and worked on balancing them and changed not my calorie intake but the quality of foods I eat and started to lose weight pretty much immediately.

It’s glorious when you can beat the statistics and you feel really good when you should be in the middle of your midlife crisis. It’s an exhilarating feeling when you feel great physically when you should be depressed about the unavoidable decaying of yourself. It’s one of the best feelings when you go a different way.

I am going to go to Costa Rica this summer and it’s going to be hot there and I will take the risk of displaying my entire body in a bikini. I will enjoy looking at my curves and body when I am walking along the beach and when I am sun bathing next to the pool. I can’t wait. It will feel great.

I love my life. It feels great. I know I wouldn’t have it if it weren’t for the constant inspiration of Bernadeane and Jim Strole. They stimulate me every day with living a life that is going up and up and up in the most phenomenal way. Bernie has been around for well over 70 years and Jim for well over 60 years and I see them doing better physically now than ever. I know I will be with them when they are in their hundreds and they will be better then compared to now. What inspires me most is how real they are with what’s going on with them. They are real with their emotions, with the test results they receive from doctors and most of all with how they feel their own bodies and they take action to build themselves better all the time. I’ve learned a lot from them. They teach something no one teaches. They teach a way of life that has no end and it’s so much fun and joy to live that way. I only recommend it.