The most fun I’ve ever had…

I am lucky, I make o.k. money that lets me go on vacations, live in a great house and have fun spending money on clothing, good food and gadgets. All of that is fun but the real fun for me is when I feel alive. What do I mean by ‘feeling alive’. I feel alive when my senses are awake, my emotions are free to feel everything, when I can feel sad and cry when something horrible happens to someone and when I can feel happy and excited when something really great happens as well. The more years we are around, the more we think we have figured life out. We have our set routines. We know what we’ll eat for breakfast, what style of furniture we like, what style of clothing we will wear, what the people are we like and who we don’t like, what religion we belong to and so on. The more we think we have figured life out the less we re-invent ourselves. But unfortunately, at the same time our range of the emotions we can feel goes down, our spontaneity goes down and our willingness to explore decreases. When most of us were in our teens we were excited to explore who we were are going to be. We wanted to learn, make money, find great friends and life partners to build our lives with. The sad thing is that most people will not change up their routines any longer when they are in their 50th and 60th and 70th.

The real luck I have is not that I make o.k. money but that I found people who are explorers no matter how many years they are around. I just attended the People Unlimited New Years Launch Event in Scottsdale and I was lucky to be with Bernadeane who I saw completely change her routine around once again. And Bernie is not in her teens, or 20th or 30th. I know Bernie now for about 25 years and I’ve seen her change her routine around over and over again. Usually when I see Bernie change is when she feels that what she has been doing is no longer building her body or the people around her. Bernie changes things most people wouldn’t change like life style, food, opinions, believes, the way of interacting with close friends and family. Each time I see her change these things, I see Bernie be more alive. I see her more charismatic, more vibrant, more smiling and laughing, more excited about her day, more excited about her future. My mom is only 10 more years around than Bernie and I care for her a lot but I have not seen my mom excited about her future for a very long time.

The most fun I have is when I get up in the morning and don’t live the perfect routine but have the intend to do whatever will most build my body and the body of everyone around me that day. What can I say, what can I do, how can I interact with my co-workers and clients so that their life is easier that day? How can I make the people around me feel valuable, wanted, smart and just overall great? How many people can I make feel that way?

It’s so much fun to live my day that way because I have to re-invent myself all the time and there is no set routine. It has no right and wrongs and the dreadful feelings of being impatient and frustrated with others don’t exist. My day is not planned around a long and important ‘to do’ list but around the intend to do what will make my life better and what can make the lives of the people around me better. This requires all my senses to be aware. Great routines always come with the threat of failure. Failure because I might not be able to do everything I said I would. Living around the intend to making my own life and the lives of others better, easier and more fun knows no failures. In the end those failures of missing a goal or not completing something you had committed to are fun killers. They can make you feel small and insufficient and unimportant because once again you have broken your word. Making another person smile and have a moment of laughter or making a certain task easy for others or just giving someone that feeling of how important they are to you has instant gratification. In those moments failure does not exist and the feeling small and insignificant which is so common is extinguished. There are no limits of how easy life can be and how happy we can be and how important we are to each other.


I have a problem…

I have a problem! I have a problem that not very many have. I am on the East coast in Princeton, NJ to see a client. The weather is cold but sunny and beautiful. Lots of trees are in bloom and the grass is getting green. It’s a beautiful spring day. There are lot of problems I could have problems like: People tension at work, too much chaos in our company and too many things I don’t understand and don’t get training for. I have a client who is difficult to manage and seems to be frustrated with everything we do all the time. We never sell enough and what we sell is never big enough. I could loose some weight – this is pretty much always.  These are problems I could have but they are really not problems I am having. Even the biggest client issue I usually manage with the help of others in the best way possible and then I have to let go. In regards to my weight…I learn how to eat better and more complimentary all the time and then I have to let go as well.

Here is the problem I really have. Since I moved to Scottsdale to live in the People Unlimited community, I live in an environment with no problems. I am around Bernie and Jim who have integrity in every way. They are creating together with me and  many others a community that doesn’t have ranks or cliques, where there is no jealousy, where there is no discrimination against age, gender, race, sexual preference, political preferences and pretty much anything else. It’s a community where freedom of expression is not only tolerated but strongly encouraged and a must. Where emotions are welcome and they can never be too tender, too loud, too strong, too honest, too intense.
Bernie and Jim and 200 more people have a genuine interest in me. The really listen to me and feel me. They are genuinely interested in who I am – and I am so different from them. For 18 years now I have not experienced any abuse. Yes, there were abusive moments with Otto for example or with others. Most of the time it’s just because we don’t know better and in the end we all haven’t had the best teachers on living all out when growing up, so it’s expected to hit a bumpy road sometimes. When we have an abusive moment we usually talk freely about the situation, listen to each other, learn from them and become better with each other. And then it’s really not abusive after all.

I truly live in an environment that’s only building, lifting and nourishing to me in ways I couldn’t even imagine. And this environment is created this way by Bernie and Jim and their phenomenal work. And I live in this environment now for 18 year – yeah!! And this is why my problem is so huge. I live in this great environment and sometimes I feel numb to it. I can’t feel how much I am loved. I can’t feel how great I am. I can’t feel how free I can really be, how high I can shoot with what I want for myself and others. Being in an environment that doesn’t know death is like having no problems but being numb to it is a really huge problem.

I am thankful that I am aware of this numbness. I saw so many people walk away from this heavenly life for the most stupid reasons and I believe each person that walked away was numb to how much loved they were. They simply couldn’t let it in. I am thankful that I know there is more for me to let in and much more aliveness for me to feel and I am excited about it. I love my life and I am so thankful to Bernie and Jim for creating an environment without discrimination, without ranks and cliques, without jealousy and competition, without games and without abuse. I never thought this existed but now I am living in the middle of it and I am learning more every day on how to let it in. 

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I am going through a painful divorce!

I am currently going through a painful divorce. Yesterday I thought I had made it through it emotionally but today the pain started all over again. We feel attracted to each other, we lived a great long love story – in fact it was the first love I can remember ever having. We did go through many adventures together. But now when we meet there is the initial excitement and later only after a couple of minutes of interacting I feel the pain and I know I shouldn’t have gone there.

The divorce I am going through is with chocolate. I’ve had chocolate all my life. Milk chocolate, dark chocolate, chocolate with chili and chocolate with exotic fruits. Every day I had some kind of chocolate. Now it’s over. I see chocolate and it reminds me of all the wonderful tasty chocolate moments I had but when I only have a small taste now it’s just sweet, it no longer has the delicious taste I remember and it drives me crazy.

I don’t like that I am changing into a ‘I can’t tolerate chocolate person’. I am eating more according to what builds my body and according to what gives me energy and this makes me more conscious. I am more and more alert to what foods build my body and what foods don’t. I am becoming a conscious physically immortal person who can’t abuse myself. Not with chocolate, not with unhealthy relationships, not with laziness, not with burning myself out, not with negativity, not with self doubt.. My consciousness to building my body is getting stronger all the time. Sometimes I don’t like it because I don’t want to break my old habits. Becoming this more conscious person is like a real divorce from an old self. I can sense strongly that being divorced is going to be much better but at the same time I can’t let go of the old all the way.

Lucky me, I have Bernie and Jim around me who give me a taste of what it’s like to build my body in every way every day. When I am around them I can feel the higher frequency of me living this real physically immortal life. It’s exhilarating and satisfying. It knows no struggle and pain and divorce is not necessary because we don’t form any relationships with anything that is destructive to begin with. I love my life!!

I want to become a more unlimited person

Today I felt somehow not in the flow and down. It was weird to feel this way after having experienced such an amazing experience in Israel just a couple of days ago. I wasn’t sure if it is the jet lag or something else. I just felt tired and I had a hard time focusing. After attending Dimitri’s stretching class I spoke to Inbal. Both Inbal and Dimitri are People Unlimited members and don’t see an end to themselves and both of them feel me unlimited. I know that they feel me unlimited just from how they are with me. They don’t even have to say a word and they make me feel unlimited in their presence. 

When talking to Inbal I started feeling what made me feel so down. After experiencing such an expansion in Israel, it felt weird to go back to my job routine where everyone is stressed out and where I don’t have the flow I would love to have with everyone I work with. After experiencing such an amazing flow with so many people in Israel I felt small in my daily routine. It felt good to feel it. I am so thankful that I have people in my life that appreciate me so much that it is easy to get in touch with what is bothering me. I don’t even have to fix anything at the moment. Just feeling that my current routine feels too small makes me feel better.

It’s a call from myself to myself to become a larger person.

I don’t know what this ‘larger’ person will look like but it feels good to feel it. I am so thankful that I can long for feeling larger. Most people I know long for a larger home, a better car, more money, being healthier, getting more fit, a marriage, children, etc. But I know very few who long for becoming larger people. I feel becoming larger is the most exciting of all the things I could want. If I become a larger person I will have a bigger house, more money and many more things that I don’t even know I can have. Best of all I will be able to connect to more people in an unlimited way. I will be clearer and sharper in my communications making a better flow happen where ever I am. Let’s do it together and expand together to become larger people.