I am currently going through a painful divorce. Yesterday I thought I had made it through it emotionally but today the pain started all over again. We feel attracted to each other, we lived a great long love story – in fact it was the first love I can remember ever having. We did go through many adventures together. But now when we meet there is the initial excitement and later only after a couple of minutes of interacting I feel the pain and I know I shouldn’t have gone there.
The divorce I am going through is with chocolate. I’ve had chocolate all my life. Milk chocolate, dark chocolate, chocolate with chili and chocolate with exotic fruits. Every day I had some kind of chocolate. Now it’s over. I see chocolate and it reminds me of all the wonderful tasty chocolate moments I had but when I only have a small taste now it’s just sweet, it no longer has the delicious taste I remember and it drives me crazy.
I don’t like that I am changing into a ‘I can’t tolerate chocolate person’. I am eating more according to what builds my body and according to what gives me energy and this makes me more conscious. I am more and more alert to what foods build my body and what foods don’t. I am becoming a conscious physically immortal person who can’t abuse myself. Not with chocolate, not with unhealthy relationships, not with laziness, not with burning myself out, not with negativity, not with self doubt.. My consciousness to building my body is getting stronger all the time. Sometimes I don’t like it because I don’t want to break my old habits. Becoming this more conscious person is like a real divorce from an old self. I can sense strongly that being divorced is going to be much better but at the same time I can’t let go of the old all the way.
Lucky me, I have Bernie and Jim around me who give me a taste of what it’s like to build my body in every way every day. When I am around them I can feel the higher frequency of me living this real physically immortal life. It’s exhilarating and satisfying. It knows no struggle and pain and divorce is not necessary because we don’t form any relationships with anything that is destructive to begin with. I love my life!!