I have a problem! I have a problem that not very many have. I am on the East coast in Princeton, NJ to see a client. The weather is cold but sunny and beautiful. Lots of trees are in bloom and the grass is getting green. It’s a beautiful spring day. There are lot of problems I could have problems like: People tension at work, too much chaos in our company and too many things I don’t understand and don’t get training for. I have a client who is difficult to manage and seems to be frustrated with everything we do all the time. We never sell enough and what we sell is never big enough. I could loose some weight – this is pretty much always. These are problems I could have but they are really not problems I am having. Even the biggest client issue I usually manage with the help of others in the best way possible and then I have to let go. In regards to my weight…I learn how to eat better and more complimentary all the time and then I have to let go as well.
Here is the problem I really have. Since I moved to Scottsdale to live in the People Unlimited community, I live in an environment with no problems. I am around Bernie and Jim who have integrity in every way. They are creating together with me and many others a community that doesn’t have ranks or cliques, where there is no jealousy, where there is no discrimination against age, gender, race, sexual preference, political preferences and pretty much anything else. It’s a community where freedom of expression is not only tolerated but strongly encouraged and a must. Where emotions are welcome and they can never be too tender, too loud, too strong, too honest, too intense.
Bernie and Jim and 200 more people have a genuine interest in me. The really listen to me and feel me. They are genuinely interested in who I am – and I am so different from them. For 18 years now I have not experienced any abuse. Yes, there were abusive moments with Otto for example or with others. Most of the time it’s just because we don’t know better and in the end we all haven’t had the best teachers on living all out when growing up, so it’s expected to hit a bumpy road sometimes. When we have an abusive moment we usually talk freely about the situation, listen to each other, learn from them and become better with each other. And then it’s really not abusive after all.
I truly live in an environment that’s only building, lifting and nourishing to me in ways I couldn’t even imagine. And this environment is created this way by Bernie and Jim and their phenomenal work. And I live in this environment now for 18 year – yeah!! And this is why my problem is so huge. I live in this great environment and sometimes I feel numb to it. I can’t feel how much I am loved. I can’t feel how great I am. I can’t feel how free I can really be, how high I can shoot with what I want for myself and others. Being in an environment that doesn’t know death is like having no problems but being numb to it is a really huge problem.
I am thankful that I am aware of this numbness. I saw so many people walk away from this heavenly life for the most stupid reasons and I believe each person that walked away was numb to how much loved they were. They simply couldn’t let it in. I am thankful that I know there is more for me to let in and much more aliveness for me to feel and I am excited about it. I love my life and I am so thankful to Bernie and Jim for creating an environment without discrimination, without ranks and cliques, without jealousy and competition, without games and without abuse. I never thought this existed but now I am living in the middle of it and I am learning more every day on how to let it in.
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