The most fun I’ve ever had…

I am lucky, I make o.k. money that lets me go on vacations, live in a great house and have fun spending money on clothing, good food and gadgets. All of that is fun but the real fun for me is when I feel alive. What do I mean by ‘feeling alive’. I feel alive when my senses are awake, my emotions are free to feel everything, when I can feel sad and cry when something horrible happens to someone and when I can feel happy and excited when something really great happens as well. The more years we are around, the more we think we have figured life out. We have our set routines. We know what we’ll eat for breakfast, what style of furniture we like, what style of clothing we will wear, what the people are we like and who we don’t like, what religion we belong to and so on. The more we think we have figured life out the less we re-invent ourselves. But unfortunately, at the same time our range of the emotions we can feel goes down, our spontaneity goes down and our willingness to explore decreases. When most of us were in our teens we were excited to explore who we were are going to be. We wanted to learn, make money, find great friends and life partners to build our lives with. The sad thing is that most people will not change up their routines any longer when they are in their 50th and 60th and 70th.

The real luck I have is not that I make o.k. money but that I found people who are explorers no matter how many years they are around. I just attended the People Unlimited New Years Launch Event in Scottsdale and I was lucky to be with Bernadeane who I saw completely change her routine around once again. And Bernie is not in her teens, or 20th or 30th. I know Bernie now for about 25 years and I’ve seen her change her routine around over and over again. Usually when I see Bernie change is when she feels that what she has been doing is no longer building her body or the people around her. Bernie changes things most people wouldn’t change like life style, food, opinions, believes, the way of interacting with close friends and family. Each time I see her change these things, I see Bernie be more alive. I see her more charismatic, more vibrant, more smiling and laughing, more excited about her day, more excited about her future. My mom is only 10 more years around than Bernie and I care for her a lot but I have not seen my mom excited about her future for a very long time.

The most fun I have is when I get up in the morning and don’t live the perfect routine but have the intend to do whatever will most build my body and the body of everyone around me that day. What can I say, what can I do, how can I interact with my co-workers and clients so that their life is easier that day? How can I make the people around me feel valuable, wanted, smart and just overall great? How many people can I make feel that way?

It’s so much fun to live my day that way because I have to re-invent myself all the time and there is no set routine. It has no right and wrongs and the dreadful feelings of being impatient and frustrated with others don’t exist. My day is not planned around a long and important ‘to do’ list but around the intend to do what will make my life better and what can make the lives of the people around me better. This requires all my senses to be aware. Great routines always come with the threat of failure. Failure because I might not be able to do everything I said I would. Living around the intend to making my own life and the lives of others better, easier and more fun knows no failures. In the end those failures of missing a goal or not completing something you had committed to are fun killers. They can make you feel small and insufficient and unimportant because once again you have broken your word. Making another person smile and have a moment of laughter or making a certain task easy for others or just giving someone that feeling of how important they are to you has instant gratification. In those moments failure does not exist and the feeling small and insignificant which is so common is extinguished. There are no limits of how easy life can be and how happy we can be and how important we are to each other.


I have a problem…

I have a problem! I have a problem that not very many have. I am on the East coast in Princeton, NJ to see a client. The weather is cold but sunny and beautiful. Lots of trees are in bloom and the grass is getting green. It’s a beautiful spring day. There are lot of problems I could have problems like: People tension at work, too much chaos in our company and too many things I don’t understand and don’t get training for. I have a client who is difficult to manage and seems to be frustrated with everything we do all the time. We never sell enough and what we sell is never big enough. I could loose some weight – this is pretty much always.  These are problems I could have but they are really not problems I am having. Even the biggest client issue I usually manage with the help of others in the best way possible and then I have to let go. In regards to my weight…I learn how to eat better and more complimentary all the time and then I have to let go as well.

Here is the problem I really have. Since I moved to Scottsdale to live in the People Unlimited community, I live in an environment with no problems. I am around Bernie and Jim who have integrity in every way. They are creating together with me and  many others a community that doesn’t have ranks or cliques, where there is no jealousy, where there is no discrimination against age, gender, race, sexual preference, political preferences and pretty much anything else. It’s a community where freedom of expression is not only tolerated but strongly encouraged and a must. Where emotions are welcome and they can never be too tender, too loud, too strong, too honest, too intense.
Bernie and Jim and 200 more people have a genuine interest in me. The really listen to me and feel me. They are genuinely interested in who I am – and I am so different from them. For 18 years now I have not experienced any abuse. Yes, there were abusive moments with Otto for example or with others. Most of the time it’s just because we don’t know better and in the end we all haven’t had the best teachers on living all out when growing up, so it’s expected to hit a bumpy road sometimes. When we have an abusive moment we usually talk freely about the situation, listen to each other, learn from them and become better with each other. And then it’s really not abusive after all.

I truly live in an environment that’s only building, lifting and nourishing to me in ways I couldn’t even imagine. And this environment is created this way by Bernie and Jim and their phenomenal work. And I live in this environment now for 18 year – yeah!! And this is why my problem is so huge. I live in this great environment and sometimes I feel numb to it. I can’t feel how much I am loved. I can’t feel how great I am. I can’t feel how free I can really be, how high I can shoot with what I want for myself and others. Being in an environment that doesn’t know death is like having no problems but being numb to it is a really huge problem.

I am thankful that I am aware of this numbness. I saw so many people walk away from this heavenly life for the most stupid reasons and I believe each person that walked away was numb to how much loved they were. They simply couldn’t let it in. I am thankful that I know there is more for me to let in and much more aliveness for me to feel and I am excited about it. I love my life and I am so thankful to Bernie and Jim for creating an environment without discrimination, without ranks and cliques, without jealousy and competition, without games and without abuse. I never thought this existed but now I am living in the middle of it and I am learning more every day on how to let it in. 

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Ending Anxiety

After a 2-day break from writing a blog I am back. I did fly to the East Coast (from Phoenix) yesterday to see my clients this week. I had to get a presentation done over the weekend for one of the client meetings and we also had an amazing People Unlimited event. On top of this I had to get my hair done and my nails done and pack for another trip I am going on right after I come back from the East coast and my horse needs daily recovery training from an injury he had a long time ago. So – with all of this going on I got overwhelmed and anxious.

When driving to the airport yesterday, I had to take deep breaths to calm down.

It feels weird to feel so anxious after the amazing People Unlimited event we had over the weekend. Especially Bernie and Jim’s expressions impacted me. I don’t know if you have ever experienced that someone talks to you and you understand all the words but the meaning of what was said goes beyond your understanding. This is how Bernie and Jim’s expressions felt this weekend. It felt like “what did just happen to me?” I felt like my life just changed and I don’t even know how. I love this feeling. I know there are always new insights coming from it. Usually they come days later when I notice that I feel different about a certain situation. Now that I am sitting in my hotel room on the East coast and I am taking a little break this morning before a busy day, I feel excited about the new feelings I am going to feel.

I’ve been anxious all my life. In the beginning of my life I didn’t know it was anxiety. I just thought this is how life is. I didn’t know you could be free of it because I didn’t know it was wrong. After our PUI weekend event this weekend, I was able to feel how anxious I was and how wrong it is because I know a life without anxiety now. I know there will be a time when I will be free of anxiety even if I have so much going on. I know there will be a time when I can trust that everything will work itself out and the things that don’t work themselves out I don’t really need. I know there will be a time when I feel my aliveness so much that I know nothing will take my life even if it feels a lot at the moment.



50,000 Reasons to Never Die and Live Unlimited

1. Never dying is so much fun.

2. It feels so freaking good.

3. It’s so wonderful to get close to people and you never leave them and they never leave you.

4. There is enough time to do everything you ever wanted

5. There is so much time you can do new things you never thought you would

6. You can meet so many interesting people not just superficially but have a real in-depth connection

7. You can overcome any insecurity about anything you might experience

8. You become a better person in unlimited ways.

9. I am sure you will become famous at some point

10. You can make so much money.

11. When you loose your money, you can make it again

12. You just look good.

13. You are cared for by lots of others who know you are irreplaceable and cherish your life

14. You never have to feel alone.

15. You have Bernadeane with you who’s genius is to be so intimate with you that you definitely will never feel alone

16. You have Jim Stole with you who will inspire you to overcome insecurities that are so unconscious, that you never even imagined you had them but they limit you every day.

There are 49,984 more reasons but will have to tell you about them another day. For now check out for more reasons or come tonight to an even in Scottsdale, AZ for even more reasons.