Women love shopping for clothing and shoes and so do I but do we do it for the reasons? Sometimes I shop because I feel great and part of feeling great is that I look good and of course I am happy to spend money on myself for clothing and shoes that expresses how great I am. I would be denying myself if I wouldn’t.
But when I am honest to myself do I always go shopping for that reason? Sometimes it’s just the opposite and I go shopping because I feel not so great and I have the urge to fill myself up with shopping. The thought of just the right shoes and especially if they are on sale seems to be the one thing that can lift my spirits. In those moments I don’t buy the shoes because I feel great but because I need to be filled up and shoes or clothing just seem to do the job. And often times I have no reason what so ever for feeling empty or awful. My life is going great. I have created the best for myself in every area, so there is definitely no need for feeing negative to begin with. By the way when I buy the shoes to make me feel great it usually works and I will feel better but I still find it wrong to feel empty. Feeling awful about myself for whatever reason is just wrong and I find it wrong for most people I know.
There are some really awful people around but I am not talking about them. In the end, usually only the good people feel awful and negative about themselves and the people who do the bad things, usually have no conscience and will feel never bad. But then even the ‘bad’ people might feel so highly nothing about themselves that they have to take it out on others by being mean and terrible. If they would feel better and more valuable they might stop being so mean. But this is a different subject…
I now realize that we get taught that we are nothing… my mom has nothing to say about how great she is, my sister is in complete silence about how important she is. In fact I doubt she it ever crossed their mind that saying good things about themselves is an option. My grandma was negative all the time and she had no positive word come out of her mouth ever. And all my aunts struggled with depression. None of them felt awful like ‘I am a terrible person’ awful but they felt awful like ‘I always have to accomplish something to be valuable’ or ‘I am just not measuring up’ awful or ‘I am not valuable for simply who I am’ awful. Language such as ‘I am great’, ‘I am a wonderful person’, ‘I am proud of myself’, ‘I am important to be around’ or any other such language is pretty much non-existent in their vocabulary.
And it’s pretty much non-existing for most woman I know. In fact, I only know one woman who can say freely that she is important. What I hear a lot from woman pretty much everywhere is ‘You are important’. Especially if a woman has children I can hear it non-stop. I can hear non-stop how important her children are. Shouldn’t the mothers say great things about themselves too? If you say more great things about your children or other people in general than about yourself I find you hypercritical. And – by the way – you will teach your children that they are not valuable either and that they will only live for others when they grow up. I don’t think that is a great upbringing after all.
So who is going to break the cycle? I know one person who has broken it already. And this person is Bernadeane. I am so thankful for you – Bernie!! Hallelujah, one woman who finally says the truth about herself. I have heard Bernie say many times ‘I am valuable’, ‘I am important’. And it’s not only her words it’s also her body language. It’s how Bernie looks, how well she dresses and how she talks to others. Bernie is a woman who looks gorgeous not just to impress men and to hold up well in the unending female competition of ‘good looking’. She looks good just because she feel she is so valuable and looking good is just the right way to express it. How refreshing!!! Not sure if with all the “I don’t feel valuable’ women or ‘I only feel valuable for the great things I do’ role models I’ve had in my life, I would have been able to even have the thought that I can feel good for who I am. Only after hanging out with Bernadeane for the past 20 years I am getting a glimpse of how it feels to be valuable for the person I am.
It feels sooo, sooo good. And this is the direction I am taking now. Why not let my life be guided by the valuable person I am instead of the person who has to please others all the time. I personally find people who feel their own value extremely pleasing. So I am going to be more and more pleasing that way now too.
Join people who promote the value of human life in the best way ever and come to a People Unlimited event here in Scottsdale or to our Summer Celebration event in San Diego! It’s the best and most transforming experience you will ever have. A transformation that we all need. A transformation to being valuable. Check us out at PeopleUnlimitedInc.com