bernadeane

Living unlimited again today!

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Today was a long intense working day with mostly things to do that were uncomfortable for me. I prepared a complex analysis in Excel with having to integrate various reports from different sources making sure the end report could be easily understood by the end user. I also prepared a draft of a presentation for Sr. management with content I am not so familiar with. Even though I don’t like uncomfortable tasks very much I also like them at the same time. I find when I have nothing to do that’s uncomfortable, I get easily bored. I find myself thinking about issues that are really not an issue at all or I start day dreaming not being very efficient. I now decided that I will look for more situations that are uncomfortable for me. Imagine how much I could accomplish if I would no longer look for being comfortable? Why not find out?

Bernie and Jim are often uncomfortable for me. They have the skill to put themselves in new and often uncomfortably expanding situations and by doing so right in front of my eyes I feel uncomfortable. I learned that just relaxing into the experience makes it actually adventurously enjoyable and alive. I am taking this now on and will apply it to my work and from today on I will relax more into my uncomfortable work situations.

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Most people I know want me to be a certain way. When I grew up my mom and dad wanted me to believe in the same things they did. They wanted me to be tolerant with others, they wanted me to like art and Jazz music and they wanted me to put the family first. In school my teachers wanted me to understand the subjects they taught the same way they did. Very few of them encouraged creative thinking or that we came with our own views and answers. Most people who live in the same social structures want you to feel the same. E.g. people who believe in God want you to believe in God as well or people who don’t believe in God, want you to not believe in God just like them. Or people who like abstract art seldom hang out with people who like traditional art. In the past 53 years I spend a lot of time figuring out how the people I liked wanted me to be. Very often I used all my IQ to understand what they wanted and then I did the best to be like that. With 53 years doing my best I didn’t become better at it. Often I thought so much about how to be when around others that I completely froze and couldn’t say or do anything. People thought I was arrogant, shy or bored when around them. They never thought that I just tried so hard to do the right thing which made me feel so overwhelmed that I looked arrogant, bored or shy. When really I was just making things far too hard for myself.

I am glad that I found 2 people who I like very much – Jim Strole and Bernadeane – who are telling me in their very unique and different way, for over 20 years now, at least 2 times a week, that I am great and needed in my own unique way. And that there is no need to be like others especially not like them. This has been the best experience for me. For over 20 years now I am encouraged to feel myself, to say freely what I feel even if it is very different from what everyone else feels. This has given me the opportunity to experience an intimacy with others that I didn’t know possible. Bernie and Jim have become some of the people I am the most intimate with mostly because we dare to be ourselves and don’t try to make each other what we are not. I have so much every day intimacy with Otto – my boy friend and intimate partner for nearly 20 years now. I am so rich with being so personal now with most people I meet. Overall I learned how to enjoy myself and others especially because we are not the same. 

Now I want to encourage others to be all out with who they are. To dare to feel everything even if it’s different than their parents, boy friend, husband, wife, friends, collegues, etc.. For me it’s now the most exciting to be around people who feel freely who they are and who can freely express it. It makes people so interesting when they are themselves, so valuable! So fun to be with!

Living Unlimited – My everyday life adventure – 3

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For the past years I am doing stretching exercises most of my days because I have lower back issues since I am 15. These stretches used to keep me going. Not perfectly but without pain. The reason why I say ‘not perfectly’ is: no matter if I saw the chiropractor, did my stretches or got massages, my back was stiff and often at the verge of hurting. In the past couple of months I started to get really frustrated and thought now I am really aging and the physical immortality is just a fantasy after all. This is basically the most common belief I’ve encountered in the past 25 years. Pretty much from when I started out telling people I am physically immortal and I am not going to die and they don’t have to die either, most people told me that this was not real and just a fantasy. But I am so glad I have my People Unlimited community that inspires me literally 2 times a week to not go with these so depressingly limited believes that are so programmed in me and everyone around me.

On my last business trip – tired and a little worn out from so much tension at my client – I was watching TV late at night and came across an infomercial that seemed so perfect so I had to make the purchase. I purchased a 10-minute trainer program. I thought no matter how many to-do items I have on my list, I can spare 10 minutes a day – for perhaps 5 days a week and do the program. I received the set of DVD’s a couple of weeks ago and started with my 10 minute exercises. Lucky me lots of them strengthen and move the core and lower back area intensely. So I noticed that my lower back is more relaxed and my range of movement is getting better again. This is exciting!!! No aging after all – just the necessity to change 30 year long habits!!! This is actual very common sense. How can we expect to be fit and flexible and completely agile when we sit all day, do the same exercise routine and maintain the same patterns every day. Kids do new things all the time and they need to. If they don’t explore they don’t advance so why should this be different when you are in your 50th?

Live Unlimited – Don’t Die – My every day adventure – 2

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Being physically immortal means to me today that not everything I feel about myself is true. I work in a corporate job and – as most people do – many times I don’t agree with how others approach a certain project, or I have 100 more things on my to-do list as I can address in a given day, or I want to have things go different. Often I work out problems in the middle of the night when I should be sleeping. When I meet with my People Unlimited friends I tell them that I am stressed out a lot and this is a topic pretty much every time I see them. I ask them how they are handling stress wanting some clues on how to calm down a little in my crazy work life.

I recently got my hormone’s checked and part of the test they checked my adrenals. And interestingly the results were perfect. My doctor even gave me an A+ for my results and mentioned that she rarely sees this. The line was exactly in the middle of the green. I couldn’t believe it when I saw it. I definitely thought my adrenals would be burnt considering my intense work life. But after all it just seems that I have a very healthy range of feelings and I am doing great after all. I find that when it comes down to my body I am most of the time more healthy than I think. I see Jim Strole in his 60th and Bernadeane in her 70th and see so much aliveness, vibrancy and health and they just solidify the seemingly impossible feeling I have that it’s in facts real that I don’t have an end to my life. I feel it’s real but sometimes to get confirmation is great.