What’s wrong with me?

In 1996 I moved to Scottsdale, AZ from Munich, Germany to join BernaDeane and Jim Strole in building a physically immortal community. This physically immortal community is now growing every day and it is called People Unlimited.

When meeting Bernie and Jim in Munich, they talked to a Susanna in me that had been deeply hidden behind different personalities. They talked to a Susanna that truly felt like me. No-one had ever talked to her before. She had been there always but she had been deeply buried behind personalities and right and wrongs. She was so hidden that I didn’t even remember her any more. At the same time I watched them reach many others in the same way.

The best moments in my life are feeling this Susanna that feels so me and so authentic and I get to experience this more and more all the time. The best moments are also when I see other’s get in touch with themselves while moving free from all the images society had taught them to be. It makes me feel so close to them which feels awesome and I know they feel awesome as well.

Bernie and Jim and the People Unlimited community which is growing every day is the best place in the world and I recommend everyone I meet to join as members. At least everyone I meet a little closer. Yet, I have had only very few accept my invitation to check out a People Unlimited event.

Why is that?

What is wrong with me?

I have felt very wrong for loving something so much but not being able to bring the value of what I am experiencing across to others. I meet a lot of people. Really amazing people I really adore and care about. I feel they would benefit from being a People Unlimited member a lot.

So what’s wrong with me not being able to bring my point accross?

I feel there will never be an answer to this question. But in an indirect way there is an answer:

1. I am stopping immediately to feel wrong. Even though it feels wrong that I do not bring a lot of guests to People Unlimited events, it feels even worse to feel wrong about myself in it. Who would want to be invited by a person who feels wrong about themselves to begin with?

2. I need to let go of ‘needing’ to bring people. I do need more people that want to live so all out that they forget seeing death for themselves and others but I don’t ‘need’ to bring guests. I knew this part but for some reason knowing and doing it are two very different things. I really need to let go and just enjoy the people I meet.

3. I need to ensure that I am myself. I need to talk freely about what I feel and enjoy in every way including my unlimited life. I need to tell people how much I truly care about them. I need to just enjoy myself doing it. The truth is that it is a lot of fun talking about unlimited living and it is the biggest joy to admit caring about someone so much that you don’t ever want to be without them. It’s better than a cup of coffee, a piece of chocolate cake, great shoes, a great vacation and as good as a one million dollar bonus (which I haven’t received yet but will some day).

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